frustration

I have to let this out somewhere and I have absolutely noone to turn to right now so I'll turn to you internet. Of course there was a choice fo who to open this up more to such as on Facebook, Twitter etc. I decided to turn back to the good ol' blog.

I recently met a girl whom straight away was probably the best friend I've had for a long long time the first time we talked. I felt fantastic afterwards, never before had someone made me feel great only through conversation. For once I was myself in front of someone feeling no pressure at all. As soon as I finished talking to her I was just in the happiest mood I have been in years. At least 6 years.

It didn't even strike me straight away that I had fallen in love. I kept thinking about her each day, I still do. I've been talking to her a couple of times each week for about 3 weeksish.After the first 2 times I talked to her she's always seemed busy but she was busy the 2nd time when I talked to her yet she was fine talking to me now she seems she wants me out the shop. Maybe I'm being very paranoid, it's very hard for me to give you the exact image of what she's like. She's too lovely to tell me to bugger off.

I feel we could be great together whether that's in a relationship or just friends.

What a fucking life. My best friends are a 40 year old from my old workplace who is too busy to keep running his family and a girl who I'm nuts about who's 7 years older than me. I wish I had a life.
I jsut honestly love her, her faults are nothing to me, I just try to see her as much as I can but I don't want ot be a pedo. I barely do see her and simply her prescence makes me happy.

Do any of you feel that when you're around "friends" that you just don't fit with them?
Personally, when I'm ever in a good mood my "friends" are in a bad mood and whenever I'm in a bad mood, they're in a good mood. I can't help but feel like the wrong, person in the wrong place at the wrong time.

November, I had the blindfold taken off and noticed I really do have depression. December, I've been wading through the deep of it been suicidal and felt awful on Christmas day and my birthday. From January to now there's been some progress. Things have gotten better. Not really the situation though, I've just not had breakdowns as much. I have been feeling better the more I'm out of school. It seems that I can get on with people much better out of school rather than putting up with some twonks I thought I'd be with for the rest of my life. I just need a job now then things will finally properly change. People SAY things are changing but nothing has really CHANGED yet. My psychiatrist organised an appointment with some people at some career people but they both want me to stay on school... despite school causing most of my depression. Can't go on a course with them until April they say but, going to meet them again on March 10th. Still, that doesn't stop me from applying to places for work.